My Scripture

Can a man have a love affair with a corner store? Yes. My first visit to Roxie’s was in 1986 as a junior in high school. I didn’t just instantly fall in love with the sandwiches, I also instantly fell in love with the place. I absorbed the constant chatter from the guys behind the counter and learned about the real world from observing the cops, construction workers, local crazies, college students and other characters who frequented Roxie’s. It was as much a class to me as was Mr. Simon’s Math or Mr. Weiss’ Computer Architecture. Only a two-minute drive, it was far enough from school to feel like we were leaving campus yet close enough that we could go for lunch or during a fifty minute “dead period”. During my senior year, I often visited Roxie’s twice each day, once in the morning to have a donut and and get the AM chatter from the counter guys who all called me “Shorty”, and again with my friends for lunch, which we ate in my beloved 1979 maroon, diesel Cadillac Seville or outside on the sidewalk. It was like our secret clubhouse. My penchant for food challenges ramped up at Roxie’s where I regularly ate an entire Hostess Snowball in one bite. Though grades weren’t my highest priority, I was hellbent on eating every item on Roxie’s menu by the time I graduated. While I came close, I consider it to be my biggest failure in life that I didn’t finish.

12/31/1999: Shorty, The Roxie Kid And Our Heroes At The Last Lunch Of The Century

Visits home from college weren’t complete without a visit to see the guys at Roxie’s and feast on a Roxie’s Special. “Hey, Shorty’s back in town!” they would yell out. Yes, a corner store on the city’s outskirts was the only place where I was known, but my ego skyrocketed when the Roxie’s guys remembered me. Still does. When I took Mrs. Stomach to Roxie’s for the first time, roughly four months after we started dating, I was worried about what she would think of my paradise. She loved it. However, more prominent on my mind was what would the Roxie’s guys think of Mrs. Stomach? If they disapproved, I’d have a dilemma on my hands. From behind the counter, one of the guys yelled “Hey look! Shorty’s got a new girlfriend! Hey, Shorty’s girlfriend, do you like pastrami? Here’s a taste!” Luckily, Mrs. Stomach charmed them and they all approved. I could safely proceed with the relationship. My last lunch of the 20th century was a no brainer. Roxie’s.

The Roxie's Special

Ok, ok..what about the food you ask? The Roxie’s Special is my favorite sandwich in San Francisco and it’s what I order most of the time . Ham, mortadella, salami, your choice of cheese (I recommend that you let them decide), and the usual sandwich fixings make up the inside of this beast. Ask for your order warmed up and you’ll be rewarded with a truly oven-baked, meltingly good lunch that will make you ask “Why can’t all corner store sandwiches taste like this?” No Quizno’s crap here.  While Roxie’s has a great bread selection, I go Dutch Crunch every time. This roll is crunchy like a cracker on the outside but soft like a Philadelphia pretzel on the inside and makes for the perfect casing. Finally, the ingredient that puts the Roxie’s Special over the top is marinated artichoke hearts. They add just the right amount of zip and the texture against the meat, cheese and bread works magically. While the high school Urban Stomach could easily polish a Supreme sized sandwich, nowadays I go for the Junior which is still a pretty hefty lunch. Note that Roxie’s has maybe the largest drink selection of any corner store in the city. You’ll need a few minutes to pick one which is a good thing as sandwiches, because they’re made with love, can take a while during peak hours. At lunchtime, you’ll be in and out in roughly 15-20 minutes.

The Unparalleled Dutch Crunch Roll

I have to give two big shout-outs as I conclude my love letter. First is to Duncan Mitchell. Though Duncan went to a different high school, he’s the one who told my friends about Roxie’s and thus is the reason that I started going. To this day, Duncan, now a New Yorker, is one of my favorite eating partners but I still have issues with the fact that he likes the Spanish roll as much, if not more than, the Dutch Crunch. Lunacy. My second shout-out goes to Justin Grover, a.k.a. “The Roxie Kid”. Justin was there for my very first sandwich at Roxie’s and we’ve been well over 100 times since. He’s a Tuna Special guy and I respect that. Now a father of two little stomachs, I get a little teary eyed when the Roxie’s guys scream “Hey, Shorty’s here with his daughters. Those are two beautiful girls. Shorty’s all grown up now!” It’s my own circle of life come to fruition.

The Stomachs At Our Favorite Picnic Spot

Roxie Food Center
1901 San Jose Ave.
San Francisco, CA 94112
Monday-Saturday: 6:30 AM-9:00 PM
Sunday: 7:00 AM-8:00 PM
Junior Roxie’s Special $5.99

A 23 year old Stomach (on the right) at Charlie Vergo's Rendezvous in Memphis

My friend loved Rendezvous BBQ so much, he never ate meat again

Last night, I licked my television. Why you ask? I was watching Tony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and he was doing a food porn piece on barbecue. A beautifully crusted, slow-smoked brisket was shown being carved, juices dripping with each cut. I wanted to hop on a plane and fly to this barbecue pit, in New York of all places, and dive naked into an orgy of smoked meats. Mmmmmmm! Ooooooh!

I love barbecue. Barbecue makes me emotional. Barbecue makes me lick televisions. We don’t have much barbecue around these parts. The best barbecue that I ever ate, in 1994 at The Rendezvous in Memphis, brought me to to a food orgasm that I wasn’t sure I could ever achieve, and have rarely achieved since. Don’t even mention “dry rubbed ribs” to me or my knees will go weak and my eyes will roll back. The worst barbecue that I ever ate, in 1980 at The Great American Beef Rib Company in L.A., was an insult to the genre. Dry, tasteless ribs made even a ten year-old Urban Stomach angry. It’s been thirty plus years since that debacle and I’m still pissed.

A pile of meat: The 3 Meat Combo of Ribs, Chicken and Pulled Pork

Housed in an orange train car in Pacifica, Gorilla Barbeque is serving my favorite barbecue in the Bay Area. If you’re a first timer, I suggest that you bring a friend, your family, or both and order a 3 Meat Combo. On a recent sunny Sunday afternoon, the Stomachs started with a pile of pulled pork, chicken and pork ribs (beef ribs are nothing but pretenders). The ribs are large, meaty, and have a great bark on them. I’m not sure what’s so satisfying about eating big hunks of meat off of a bone but if I could eat pasta off of a bone, I would. The chicken is nice and juicy and the skin gets a little crispy but not burnt. I found myself using my index finger to scrape bits of skin off of the bottom of the styrofoam container. When I’m eating barbecue, I’m not a sauce guy. I’m a firm believer that the meat should be able to stand up flavor- wise on its own. However, I was happy to drench my pulled pork, a little blander than the other meats, with Gorilla’s vinegary sauce that provides a nice kick of spice about three seconds after every bite.

Beef Brisket and Mac & Cheese at Gorilla Barbeque

What you see above is a kid’s portion of brisket. My kids couldn’t finish it between the two of them! Gorilla’s brisket is dry-rubbed and then spends fifteen hours in the smoker, resulting in smoky, tender slices of pure joy. I was picking this stuff up with my hands, dangling it in my mouth, and taking bite after pleasurable bite. Of all of the Gorilla meats that I’ve tried, the brisket tastes the most of smoke which is a big plus in my book. You can see the red smoke rings around the edges of the meat. The macaroni & cheese is one of the cheesiest versions I’ve ever encountered as Gorilla uses four kinds of cheese and then bakes the noodles under a crust of ground cheddar goldfish crackers. Let me repeat, they put cheddar goldfish crackers in a grinder and then use the finely ground bits to bake a crust on top of the macaroni and cheese. Who thinks of this stuff? Brilliant. And very, very rich. Cole slaw is on the traditional side with plenty of mayonaise to cool down the smoke from the meats and the heat from the sauce.

Smoked Brisket Cheesesteak deserves its own visit

I can’t conclude without mention of Gorilla’s cheesesteak. It’s completely untraditional both as barbecue and as a cheesesteak but it completely works. They combine a hefty portion of chopped smoked beef brisket with white american cheese, onions and peppers and sandwich it in a well griddled soft roll. I’m generally not one for food trickery but this sandwich is worth the drive to Pacifica alone. I’d suggest eating it on a separate visit as it’s a little much when combined with all of the other smoked meats and the mac & cheese. Well, maybe a lot much.

This was my fifth visit to Gorilla over the past year or so and I’m really impressed with their consistency. On weekends, there’s almost always a line but it moves fairly well. You should know that Gorilla is take-out only and they don’t take phone orders. There are a few picnic tables up on a small hill and you’ll want to dress warmly if you plan to use them. It’s Pacifica. However, cold weather aside, Gorilla Barbeque is a godsend for Bay Area barbecue lovers like me.

Gorilla Barbeque
2145 Coast Highway
Pacifica, CA 94044
650-359-RIBS (7427)
www.gorillabbq.com
Wednesday-Monday: Noon-8PM (if visiting after 5PM, call to see what they have left)
3 Meat Combo with choice of 2 sides, cornbread and beans and rice:$19.50
Kid’s Combo with choice of 1 side and cornbread: $6.25
Philly Cheesesteak Combo with choice of 1 side: $8.25

Namu's Korean Tacos

Fusion. In the early to mid ’90s, I was all about fusion. When I wanted to impress Mrs. Stomach (then a new girlfriend), I took her to The House. “It’s in North Beach but they’re mixing up Chinese, Korean and California ingredients! Crazy!” When my relatives came to visit, I hoped for a dinner at Flying Saucer. “Please, stack my food as high as possible as that will make it more delicious.” When a friend owed me a meal for helping with a move, Cafe Kati was the spot. “What? They’re doing a Caterpillar Roll with a reduction sauce? I’m there!” But sometime during the late ’90s, my tastes, along with the tastes of many San Franciscans, began to change. Don’t get me wrong, despite my teasing, fusion could be delicious, as it was at the three aformentioned restaurants (and don’t forget that Cafe Kati and The House are still thriving). It just got tired. So as both the food gliteratti and my friends simultaneously started talking up Asian taco trucks and carts, I was hesitant to jump in line. I’m glad that I finally did.

A Trio Of Kung Fu Tacos

Found at the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market, Namu’s Korean tacos successfully push the limits of food gimmickry. Instead of a tortilla, Namu uses a sheet of toasted seaweed as its foundation. This brilliant innovation ensures the perfect crunch with every bite but without feeling like a midwestern school cafeteria hard-shell taco. Loaded on top are kalbi short ribs, seasoned rice and kimchee salsa. I am a kimchee lover so the salsa totally works for me but even dissenters of kimchee, no friends of mine, should be fine. It’s not crazy pungent. The total bite tastes like your favorite Korean BBQ but without the self- cooking, the frenzied crowds and the unwashable stench on your clothes that makes others think that you’ve been pulling bong hits all night. Take a plastic fork as the seaweed can only hold up for so long and you’ll want to scarf every last bit of the kalbi. Not that you’ve been pulling bong hits.

Kung Fu Taco

My friend Doug, a successful attorney who could be a professional chef, turned me on to Kung Fu Tacos. Kung Fu parks most weekdays in the lot of the now closed Jeanty at Jack’s on Sacramento St. downtown. Now, if a Chinese taco truck successfully doing strong Financial District business next to a shuttered, three-story French restaurant isn’t a sign of the times, what is? At noon on a recent weekday, the line was six-deep but moving rapidly. I chose three tacos: the Roast Duck, the BBQ Pork and the Mushu Veggie. As Doug had promised, the Roast Duck taco was basically Peking Duck in a tortilla. Make that really good Peking Duck in a tortilla. How can you go wrong with Peking Duck in a tortilla? Great stuff and my Kung Fu favorite. The Mushu Veggie tacos consisted of Shitake mushrooms, carrots and cabbage tossed with “Asian salsa”. I don’t know what Asian salsa is but I do know that the crunch of the veggies mixed with the heat of the salsa made for a yummy few bites. I’d actually eat this before the duck taco as I’d enjoy the sweetness of the duck after the heat of the veggies. Kind of like a duck dessert. I wasn’t as wild about the pork taco mainly because it tasted too similar to the duck but minus the lusciousness. I’d rather just order another duck.

So I don’t just “get” the Asian taco trend, I completely embrace it. My only quibble is the price. The tacos sound reasonable at $2-$3 each but they’re really small. It would take 4-5 of either Namu’s or Kung Fu’s tacos to fill up The Urban Stomach. Maybe 3-4 for a regular stomach. You do the math. Do Peking Duck and Kalbi replace Carnitas and Carne Asada as my favorite taco fillings? No way! I’m a traditionalist. But they’re still damn tasty. And a little fusion every decade or so never hurt anyone.

Namu
Ferry Plaza Outdoor Farmers Market
Thursday (in front): 10:00 AM-2:00 PM, Saturday (in back) 8:00 AM-2:00 PM
Follow on Twitter: @namusf
Korean Taco $3 or 2 for $5
Tacos also available at Namu Restaurant
439 Balboa Street (at 6th Ave.)
San Francisco, CA 94118
415-386-8332

Kung Fu Tacos
Follow on Twitter: @kungfutacos
Website
Usually on Sacramento between Kearny and Montgomery, Monday-Friday between 11:30 AM and 1:30 PM
Peking Duck Taco $3, BBQ Duck Taco $3, Mushu Veggie Taco $2

Margherita Pie

When my family first moved to the Bay Area in 1981, pizza here flat out sucked. Dan Ledeux, one of my first friends in sixth grade, enthusiastically told me that Straw Hat and The Pizza Machine were “rad”. Even coming from Michigan, where the locals swear by Buddy’s horrific excuse of a pizza, Straw Hat and The Pizza Machine were dreadful. My parents hinted that I might break off my new friendship. Goodbye Dan Ledeux. In my family, suggesting a bad restaurant is about the worst offense there is. Talk about us behind our backs, swindle us out of our money, steal our possessions but please, for God’s sake, don’t you dare send a Hochman to a lousy restaurant. It won’t be forgotten. Ever.

Our move to the city in 1984 didn’t improve the pizza situation much. Other than Giorgio’s and Tommaso’s, San Francisco was a pizza wasteland (it’s no coincidence that both of these places are still thriving). But in 2005, things began to change quickly. Delfina Pizza and Picco, in Marin, both opened and were instant hits. The floodgates opened and we’re now overrun with really good pizza. Gialina, Pi Bar, A16, Pizzaiolo in Oakland…the list goes on and on. Just when I thought that the pizza craze had gone too far, along came Tony’s Pizza Napoletana in North Beach. I think that I’m falling in love.

The New Jersey Style Tomato Pie With 1/2 Sausage

Tony Gemignani’s pizza career has been well documented by the local food media. He and his brother have long owned a pizza place in Castro Valley and he was the first American to win the World Pizza Cup in Naples, Italy in 2007. However, I was skeptical when learning of his plans for a new pizza place in North Beach last year. Why? Gemignani planned to install four pizza ovens so that he could prepare four different styles of pizza. Uggh. This sounded like a recipe for disaster and a little gimicky as well. San Franciscans don’t dig gimmicks. Two recent visits have proven me totally wrong.

The first pizza that I tried was a 1/2 sausage New Jersey Tomato Pie under the “Classic American” section of the menu. It flat-out rocked. The crust was thin and crispy but not annoyingly so like some cracker crusts in town. It had some substance. Even on the sausage side, with a little extra grease, the crust held up well. The perfectly sweet tomato sauce was evenly spread on top of just the right amount of cheese. The outer crust, fluffy and crispy all at once, is worthy of being a snack unto itself. This “Classic American” pizza is meant to evoke orgasmic memories of East Coast pie palaces and it succeeds. If I smoked, I would have lit up a cigarette after scarfing this pizza and laid in a daze for an hour or so before passing out in pizza bliss.

Yes, there are three meatballs under that blanket of sauce and cheese.

The Margherita Pie from from the “Napoletana” section of the menu has the pedigree of an odds-on favorite at the Kentucky Derby. This is the pie that won the World Cup and only 73 are made each day. Ingredients include extra virgin olive oil from Campania, San Marzano tomatoes, Mozzarella Fior di Latte and “dough mixed by hand using San Felice flour then proofed in Neapolitan wood boxes”. While this pizza was also delicious, it ranks slightly behind the Tomato Pie for me. Why? I was taught from an early age by my New Yorker parents that a crisp crust is the proper crust . A true Napoletana pizza has a crust that is chewier rather than crispy as it spends only 90 seconds in a blistering hot, wood fired oven. Tony’s Margherita is exemplary of this style. The flavors are amazing but I simply prefer a crispier crust. Still great stuff.

I can’t finish this review without mentioning the meatballs. If you’ve ever salivated watching Tony Soprano eat meatballs, order these. For five dollars, this hefty order is a steal and not to be missed. Tony’s is an easy place to come either on a date or with friends and family. The vibe is festive and there’s a full bar with many beers on tap. On both of my visits, service was really friendly. Tony’s feels like a pizza place should. I didn’t even get to the Calzones, the Sicilian Style pies or the Strombolis but I’m already plotting my next visit.

Tony’s Pizza Napoletana
1570 Stockton St. (corner of Union)
San Francisco, CA 94133
415-835-9888
Website
Wednesday-Sunday: Noon-11:00 PM
No reservations
The Original Tomato Pie $15
Margherita Pie $18
Meatballs 3 for $5, 6 for $7