The Stone Pot Bibimbap Will Induce A Food Coma

We all have restaurants that we drive by a hundred times but never think much about. Until recently, Han II Kwan, an old Korean spot in the Richmond district, was on that list for me. It doesn’t look terribly exciting and there’s always a tour bus parked in front, a sure sign of mediocrity I thought. However, a mention by Jonathan Kauffman of the stone bowl bibimbap on SFoodie’s list of 92 favorite local dishes piqued my curiosity (This is off topic but I think that Jonathan Kauffman has been a much needed addition to the food criticism scene in San Francisco. He’d be my pick to replace Michael Bauer). After three visits, I can safely say that the bibimbap lunch special is one of the best deals in the city.

Banchan

Let’s start with the banchan, a series of little snacks that are served before most Korean meals. It’s like a bread basket but far more flavorful, colorful and interesting. At Han II Kwan, an impressive seven varieties of banchan are spread out on the table including cucumbers with sesame oil garlic dressing, bean sprouts with a similar dressing, kimchi, dried anchovies stir fried with sesame oil, garlic and sugar, and fried fish cakes also with sesame oil, garlic and sugar. While the flavors of the banchan tend to be similar, the textures are anything but. The flavor and texture of a Korean restaurant’s kimchi is similar in importance to that of the pickle selection at a Jewish deli. Everyone has an opinion as to which is the best. At Han II Kwan, the kimchi is crispy and on the more pungent side. It’s pure funky goodness. My other favorite is the fish cakes. Served warm and having only a faint fish taste, it would be easy to mistake this for tofu.

Mung Bean Pancake

Because you need an insane amount of food at lunchtime, the server then delivers a mung bean pancake, made of ground mung beans and green onion. Barely fried, the pancake has a light, crispy texture and a mild flavor enhanced by a quick dip in the soy-chili sauce served alongside. Want more food? Good. A caldron of soft tofu soup is brought to the table. Only once did I find the soup to be spicy enough for my liking. It’s introduced as being “on the house” and the first time I had it, I thought that I was getting the VIP treatment. Why would I be considered a VIP? I soon noticed that every table around me had the soup and I was offered the soup on every subsequent visit. I guess that we’re all VIPs.

The Prized Bebimbap Crust

After all of this, the star of the show arrives, the bibimbap. A scalding pot, loaded with rice, vegetables including soy bean sprouts, cucumbers and carrots, marinated beef and a fried egg, is cautiously placed before you. Quickly, after a few squirts of hot sauce if you’d like, you take your chopsticks and start stirring the ingredients, watching in anticipation as the yolk breaks and coats the rice. Finally, you have your first taste and you smile. The tenderness of the beef, the crunch of the vegetables and the softness of the egg-dotted rice make for an experience in your mouth unlike any other. It’s scalding hot but it’s so damn good that you don’t care. You keep going back in for bite after bite. Then, just when you think that it can’t get any better, it does. The bottom of the stone pot is coated with a layer of crispy rice that you pry away with your chopsticks and soup spoon. The final bites are super crunchy with a burnt, but not too burnt, smoky flavor permeating your lips. This digging and chipping is the closest that I’ll ever come to being an archaeologist and, to be honest, I’d rather discover this crispy rice than a rare, inedible fossil.

The cost for this feast? $8.50. One more time. $8.50. Let me give you a quick warning about the service. It varies widely depending on whether or not there is a group of Korean tourists in the back dining room. There is only one server, no matter what, and he can get stretched pretty thin. On one occasion, I was in and out in thirty minutes. On another, my meal took nearly an hour. The food was consistently very good though and that’s why I’ll keep sneaking over for lunch. I suggest that you do too.

Han II Kwan
1802 Balboa Street
(between 19th Ave & 20th Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94121
415-752-4447

Bibimbap Lunch Special: $8.50

I Might Paint A Flying Pig Above My Bed

First off, let me say that Richmond, VA is a really cool place, way more fun and interesting than I anticipated before arriving there for a conference recently. I was expecting a rundown, boring city and I was completely wrong. I’m not a history buff by any stretch of the imagination but was completely fascinated by the state capitol building, designed by Thomas Jefferson, and the garden of statues that surround it. Carytown, a roughly five block shopping district, reminds me a bit of Ann Arbor with Plan 9 music as good of a record store that I can think of outside of Amoeba or the old Schoolkids. The University of Richmond, our host, has one of the prettiest campuses around with first rate facilities and trees and water seemingly everwhere. I even caught a Double A baseball game, the Giants affiliated Flying Squirrels, at The Diamond, where $8 buys you a 32 oz. lager. Finally, the beautiful, new Westin hotel, my home for three nights, has the hottest, strongest showers outside of my mother-in-law’s new bathroom on the Upper East Side. But, of course, I was most excited about the food. I was hunting for two things: Southern barbecue and Virginia ham.

Ribs Dinner At Buz N Ned's

Buz N Ned’s Real Barbecue, properly junky in appearance with two large smokers and a pile of wood out back, might be the most famous restaurant in Richmond, what with its many accolades and “Throwdown” victory over Bobby Flay. On a warm Tuesday night, I sampled a half-rack of baby back ribs with hushpuppies and mac and cheese, a pulled pork sandwich and an order of sweet potato fries. The ribs were good, not great, as they were a bit tough and overly basted with a just too sweet sauce. I tasted little smoke. The hushpuppies and mac and cheese were fine but nothing that I would go out of my way for. The pulled pork, super tender and smoky, was enhanced, not dwarfed, by a dousing of vinegar based sauce. It was delicious. The sweet potato fries stood out from their San Francisco cousins (Pacific Catch’s are my favorite) by being tossed with cinnamon and sugar. Totally addictive. Buz N Ned’s gets major points off for their over the top promotion of their “Throwdown” victory with one tv playing the episode non-stop on a loop and “Flayslayer” t-shirts for sale. Annoying. If I’m ever in Richmond again, I’d stop by for a pulled pork sandwich and an order of sweet potato fries and eat outside to avoid the tv.

Country Ham And Eggs At Dairy Bar

The Dairy Bar, opened in 1946, was originally the cafeteria for the Curles Neck Dairy plant workers and then became a restaurant when the plant closed in the ’80s. I was here for a traditional country breakfast of ham, eggs, grits and a biscuit and I wasn’t disappointed. The standout was the ham, fattier and saltier than I’m used to. If this ham was served in a San Francisco brunch spot, there’d be a health police rally going on outside. In Richmond, I enjoyed every bite in peace and quiet. Calories don’t count when away from home. The bonus surprise at The Dairy Bar was the peanut butter and chocolate milkshake. Made of Garber’s ice cream from Winchester, VA, this shake blew my mind. Maybe the best thing that I ate in Richmond.

How Old Is This Sign?

Sally Bell’s Kitchen opened in 1924 and is a Richmond institution. Serving only Monday-Friday from 10-4, they are best known for their box lunch, comprised of a sandwich of your choice on a fresh baked white roll, potato salad, a deviled egg, a pecan topped cheese wafer and a cupcake. There is really nowhere to eat so I took my food outside and ate atop my rental car. While everything was good, the potato salad was really incredible. It was on the creamier side and, while the first bites were sweet, it gradually gained a kick of spice and a little onion. This was like no other potato salad I’d ever tasted. The Smithfield ham was salty, similar to Dairy Bar, but not as fatty. Good thing since it was on a sandwich. The cupcakes are unique as they’re completely covered in frosting. I chose the Orange Cream and it was a little less soft than I prefer. Fine but not memorable.

The Smithfield Ham Sandwich Box Lunch At Sally Bell's Kitchen

Part of the joy of Sally Bell’s is just the experience. NOTHING has changed here. Many of the women behind the counter, and it was all women, looked and acted as if they’d been working at Sally Bell’s for years, and I say this as a good thing. When I pulled out my camera, I was told that I had to ask the manager before I started snapping shots. Love it!

You Know The Brisket Is Good When The Pepsi Machine Looks Like This

At one year old, Alamo BBQ was the newest restaurant that I tried in Richmond and came highly recommended by the manager at Sally Bell’s (yes, she did give me permission to take photos but only of food, not people). I opted for the Texas brisket sandwich with a side of jalapeno mac and cheese and both were winners. I had to clear off most of the onions and jalapenos in order to truly enjoy the expertly smoked meat in the sandwich but it was well worth the effort. Why ruin beautiful meat with ballpark jalapenos and raw onions? The jalapenos were much better suited for the creamy mac and cheese, where they added a nice zing without taking away from the cheesiness that we all love. Alamo has a charming junk pile in the back (see above picture), a working smoker on the side, and just 7-8 tables on an outdoor patio in front. The fact that it sits in a residential neighborhood adds to its Southern charm.

The Beef Brisket Sandwich At Alamo BBQ

So thanks Richmond for being a great surprise on many fronts. The fact that I ate as much as I did yet want to come back to try other places that I heard about, and revisit some new favorites, is a ringing endorsement from the Urban Stomach.

Buz And Ned’s Real Barbecue
1119 North Boulevard
Richmond, VA 23230
804-355-6055
www.buzandneds.com
Monday-Thursday, Sunday: 11:00AM-9:00PM
Friday-Saturday: 11AM-10:30PM
Half-Rack Baby Back Ribs Dinner $17.99
Pulled Pork Sandwich $4.99
Sweet Potato Fries $3.99

Dairy Bar
1602 Roseneath Rd
Richmond, VA 23230
(804) 355-1937
www.dairybarrestaurant.com
Monday-Saturday: 7:00AM-3:00PM
Sunday: 7:00AM-2:00PM
Country Ham With Two Eggs $7.39

Sally Bell’s Kitchen
708 W Grace St
Richmond, VA 23220
(804) 644-2838
www.sallybellskitchen.com
Monday-Friday: 10:00AM-4:00PM
Box Lunch $7.60

Alamo BBQ
2202 Jefferson Ave
Richmond, VA 23223
(804) 592-3138
www.alamobbqva.com
Open Everyday From 11:30AM-9:00PM
Beef Brisket Sandwich $6.00
Jalapeno Mac & Cheese $1.75

Steam Rises From The Shanghai Soup Dumplings

Sometimes, it’s fun to go to a restaurant without having heard much hype from friends or blogs. Last Friday, needing a quick and cheap bite near Stonestown (is there a worse food court?), I hopped on Yelp and found Kingdom of Dumpling on Taraval. They specialize in, you guessed it, dumplings and also own a small factory on Noriega where they make frozen dumplings. You gotta love a place that calls itself a “kingdom” yet consists of seven tables. The wall decorations are notes from local kids. But I don’t come to places like this for atmosphere. I come for dumplings.

Pork And Corn Dumplings

Two dishes stood out. The Shanghai Soup Dumplings are now my favorite in San Francisco, barely knocking off Shanghai Dumpling King on Balboa. Eating soup dumplings can be tricky as you have to gently bring each morsel to your mouth with chopsticks while holding a spoon underneath to catch the soup should a disaster occur and your wrapper breaks. At Kingdom of Dumpling, I was well rewarded for my work. The wrappers were just thick enough that they never snapped and the liquid inside was plentiful and piping hot. We devoured two servings of six and I wish that we had ordered more. The Pork and Corn Dumplings were a first for me (well, the corn part). They came twelve to an order and tasted of the sweet corn as much as the pork. Really tasty. Whoever is steaming the dumplings in the kitchen is clearly a “Dumpling Natural” as, like the soup dumplings, the wrappers had a wonderful texture and only added to the overall flavor.

Fresh Cilantro Bean Noodle

We were fascinated by the Fresh Cilantro Bean Noodles as they were on every table and looked so vibrant and fresh. If you love cilantro or bean curd, you’ll love these. Otherwise, I’m not so sure. We weren’t blown away but I would definitely try them again. My family thought that the onion pancakes were tasty but I couldn’t get over their flimsiness. My piece drooped so much that it hit the bottom part of my hand. I also wouldn’t order the Pan Fried Shanghai Dumplings again. On paper, these sounded amazing but, in this rare instance, frying actually didn’t make something taste better. Instead, the dumplings were bland and the soup effect was lost. On my next visit, I want to try the Lamb Dumplings and the Shrimp Dumplings. I would highly recommend Kingdom of Dumpling if you want a cheap meal and you love dumplings. Besides, how often do you get to hang out in a kingdom?

Kingdom of Dumpling
1713 Taraval St
(between 27th Ave & 28th Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94116
415-566-6143
Shanghai Soup Dumplings $4.95
Pork Dumplings With Corn $6.45
Fresh Cilantro Bean Noodle $5.95

The Inaugural Flavors

Tonight, I took my seven year-old daughter down to our new neighborhood ice cream place, Mr. & Mrs. Miscellaneous. It was their first day open and we were really excited to try it so you can imagine our horror (well, my daughter was actually pretty mellow about it) when we got there and saw a “Closed” sign hanging in the window. Luckily, the super cool owners, Ian and Annabelle, took pity on me, umm I mean us, and opened the door for a few last scoops. We were both so glad that they did. Dogpatch is now home to some of the Bay Area’s top sweets.

A Kids Coffee Cone Held By An Adult Hand

Of the three flavors that we tried, the coffee and the candied ginger were my favorites. The coffee is a no frills, no tricks affair and that alone had me hooked. It’s damn good coffee ice cream, not too dark, not too sweet. I’m already daydreaming about covering it with their homemade hot fudge. Ian was nice enough to let me know that it was caffeinated before feeding it to my near-bedtime daughter. Mrs. Stomach wasn’t there though so I let her eat the whole thing. While I’ve only had maybe four or five ginger ice creams in my ice cream deprived life, this was my favorite. Spot on taste with sweet and savory dancing on the tongue with every bite. Texture wise, the ginger was somewhere between traditional ice cream and sorbet. I brought this home in a pint and had to remind myself to put down the spoon a few times before I actually did. Choco-malted crunch was good but a tad too sweet for my tastebuds.

Next Time, The Peanut Brittle

Mr. and Mrs. Miscellaneous is also selling their own candies and baked goods including peanut brittle, caramels and chocolate peanut butter malt balls. We tried the malt balls and loved the combination of the malt crunch and creamy peanut butter. I can’t wait to go back and try more at this shop that is so clearly a labor of love. In particular, the Ballpark ice cream, with Anchor beer, peanuts and chocolate covered pretzels, is beyond intriguing. I predict that this will be their trademark flavor, a la Secret Breakfast. Ian and Annabelle live nearby with their adorable toddler (why didn’t my parents own a sweet shop?) and they are so clearly psyched to have a casual place of their own after years of working in “fine dining” kitchens including Chez Panise, Spago and Postrio. Welcome to the neighborhood.

Mr. & Mrs. Miscellaneous
699 22nd Street
(between Illinois St & 3rd St)
San Francisco, CA 94107
Daily 11:30AM-8:00PM
Kids Cone or Single Scoop $2.50
Double Scoop $3.50
Chocolate peanut butter malt balls $7.99/lb

The "Original" Cheese Fondue

Fondue. Spear a small piece of good French bread, dunk it into a vat of melted cheese spiked with wine, and eat. Right now, between those simple words and the picture of said bread and cheese above, you’re probably hungry. I can stop writing and I will have done my job which is to make you want to eat at The Matterhorn. But I’ll tell you a little more.

The Matterhorn has been owned by Brigitte and Andrew Thorpe (she works the front of the house and he’s the chef), both from Switzerland, since 1994. Yet every time I ask a friend if they’ve eaten there, the response is usually “no, but I’ve always wondered about that place”. The location is a little odd. On a busy stretch of Van Ness, The Matterhorn is located in the back of a non-descript (putting it kindly) apartment/office building lobby. However, once you enter the actual restaurant, it’s like you’ve entered the “It’s A Small World” version of Switzerland minus the puppets and annoying music. The entire dining room is made of wood, with stained glass and Swiss art decorating the walls. Some might find it cheesy (no pun intended) but I think that it works. While Mrs. Stomach and I used to go with groups of friends to The Matterhorn and get loaded on Gewurztraminer, nowadays it has become our traditional place to celebrate our kids’ birthdays. Whereas we used to stumble out of here at 10PM and head straight to Jack’s Bar on California for a pint of Old Foghorn and shuffleboard, we’re now done by 7PM and rushing home to get the kids showered and make sure that lunch is made. Oh how things have changed.

The Mixed Green Salad

All meals begin with a Mixed Green Salad which is actually a pretty boring description of a really tasty salad. Mixed greens, cucumbers, tomatoes and, sometimes, chopped egg are tossed with a creamy vinaigrette that has a hint of garlic. I’ve never figured out why there’s chopped egg sometimes but not others. We always add the Alpine Delight plate of cured meats to our order and share it. In today’s world of house-made charcuterie plates, which I’m a huge fan of, there’s something refreshing about an old-school meat plate! At The Matterhorn, it typically consists of smoked ham, farmer’s sausage, salami, and air cured beef.

The Alpine Delight

The cheese fondues are delicious. We always order “The Original” and “The Natural”. “The Original”, the adult favorite, is a blend of Emmenthal and Gruyere spiked with wine, a little kirsch, garlic and black peppercorns. It has an easy, boozy flavor that doesn’t overrun the glorious cheesiness. I’m always the last one still dunking and I keep going until the sides of the pot are scraped. “The Natural” is a bit blander as it has a little more Emmenthal and a little less alcohol. It tastes more of pure cheese and is our daughters’ favorite. While I’m happy just dipping the included bread, my family also likes to plunge boiled potatoes and apples into the fondue as well. At this age, our kids still love to play the game where you have to kiss someone at the table if you drop your bread in the fondue. In the ’90s, Mrs. Stomach and I used to play that game too but it was a little different. Well, a lot different. Like I said, how things have changed!

How Do You Not Order Chocolate Fondue?

Of course, you must end with chocolate fondue, served with a variety of fruits, as well as marshmallows, for dipping. I wish that the chocolate was a little warmer but its flavor, derived from a blend of milk and dark chocolates, is spot-on. Service at The Matterhorn is mostly provided by Brigitte, the owner, and she’s very friendly and helpful with ordering. Sometimes though, she can get caught up in a conversation with other tables, thus becoming unavailable for a refill or some more bread. This would be fine if she had more help but, typically, there are only one or two other employees doing all of the busing and extra work. This isn’t a problem to the point that it detracts from your meal but is just good to know before you sit down to eat. The Matterhorn also offers meat fondues and a full menu of Swiss-German specialties, think Schnitzel, but we always go for the cheese fondue.

In a town with a never-ending parade of ethnic restaurants for every occasion, a Swiss restaurant is a genuine novelty. Yeah, $19 a head might sound pricey for melted cheese and bread but, really, are you going to stay up all night scrubbing the cheese off the pot at home and then find somewhere to store that pot until next year? Didn’t think so. Stop wondering about The Matterhorn and go check it out!

The Matterhorn Swiss Restaurant
2323 Van Ness Ave.
San Francisco, CA 94109
415-885-6116
www.thematterhornrestaurant.com
Tuesday-Sunday: 5PM-9PM
Alpine Delights Cured Meats Plate: $9.50
Cheese Fondue For 2 (includes dinner salad): $38
Chocolate Fondue For 2: $18

Peas Sprouts With Garlic

When someone asks me where to eat in Chinatown, my list is usually short. I love Lychee Garden. R & G can do the trick for a banquet-style meal.
City View’s dim sum is a huge fave. For a tourist not from L.A., Boston or New York, House of Nan King is an easy crowd pleaser. It’s small, dumpy and crowded so it must be good? It’s fun once every two years or so. I dig Hing Lung on Broadway for jook but most people asking me about Chinese food aren’t looking for jook. Then there’s…there’s…there’s I don’t know. Honestly, my Chinese food consumption normally happens in the Richmond or Sunset districts. So I was particularly psyched to be invited recently to a dinner at Z & Y Restaurant in, you guessed it, Chinatown. Eight diners, all with food blogs . This was going to be good. Eight diners, all with cameras. This was going to be comical.

Spicy Numbing Beef Tendon

The photographers jostled for the best angle and then flashes began to pop wildly. Had Thomas Keller dropped by ready to get his spice on? Lady Gaga have a hankering for some Tan Tan Noodles? No. It was the red carpet arrival (well, unvacuumed maroon carpet) of our first course, Spicy Numbing Beef Tendon! And what a first course it was. Hung like laundry on a
mini-wooden rack, the presentation was a conversation piece all its own. Each thinly sliced piece of tendon was served cold with a slice of cucumber draped over it. We lazy Susaned (making up my own verb) the rack around the table so that we could each snatch a piece with our chopsticks. A small vat of “numbing” chili oil made for some fine dunking, creating a prickly but not spicy sensation in my mouth. The texture was what I imagine raw bacon would chew like with a mouth-cooling crunch provided by the cucumber. Quite the first impression.

Chicken With Explosive Chili Peppers

Oohs and Aahs were heard as we were presented with Chicken With Explosive Chili Peppers. Again with the cameras! Our table’s new celebrity was a mound of brilliant red chili peppers specked with Sichuan peppercorns. A few pokes with the serving spoon exposed a hidden treasure, small fried chunks of boneless chicken bathing in a pile of heat. The chicken was nice and spicy but not crazy. No one was sweating or anything. It was well fried with a good crunch but little grease.  While you’re not supposed to eat the peppers, I couldn’t resist and downed a few. These were hot and I’m quite sure the reason that I felt gurgling in my upper esophagus the next day. But it was worth it.

Special Pork Belly

“Special” Braised Pork Belly literally gleamed at our lenses and had the elegance of a 1940s Hollywood star. Eight square pieces lightly topped with a barely sweet sauce were quickly snapped up onto our plates, leaving behind a splotched platter with a few lonely pieces of broccoli. So much for elegance. But oh the pork belly! How tender was it you ask? So tender that we all cut it with only our chopsticks. Easily. The skin on top barely crackled and underneath was silky flesh with a mild porky flavor. In my world, “porky” is a huge complement. I loved the simplicity of this dish. Tricked out pork belly is getting old fast. Other favorite dishes included Yunan Style Steamed Chicken Soup, Eggplant With Garlic Sauce, and an exemplary Pea Shoots With Garlic. Hot Braised Sea Bass, presented as a disk topped with, of course, peppers, was moist and super flavorful. Again, spicy but not overkill. Cured Beef Wrapped In A Scallion Pancake, kind of a Chinese Stromboli, was a new one for me. I’d never even heard of it. I’d definitely order it again.

Chinese Stromboli

If you decide to eat at Z & Y, and I really hope that you do, I strongly suggest that you stay away from the Americanized items on the menu. Remember, because Z & Y is in Chinatown, they kind of have to offer Sweet and Sour Chicken, Beef With Broccoli and all of the other usual suspects. You want to come here for the Sichuan stuff! A huge thanks to @cookingwithamy for the invitation and the well thought out selection of amazing dishes. Also thanks to my new food friends and fellow foodarazzi @chefjen, @summertomato, @alphaprep, @divinacucina, @heatherhal and @Jeters. I can safely say that we’ve all found a new place in Chinatown to recommend.

The Menu
Spicy Numbing Beef Tendon
Scallion Pancakes
Yunnan Style Steamed Chicken Soup In Clay Pot
Peking Duck
Pea Sprouts with Garlic
Special Pork Belly (not on the regular menu)
Chicken With Explosive Chili Peppers
Hot Braised Sea Bass
Eggplant With Garlic Sauce
Cured Beef Wrapped In Scallion Pancake (courtesy of Z & Y)
Fresh Fried Mini Red Bean Cakes (courtesy of Z & Y)

Z & Y Restaurant
655 Jackson St. (near Grant)
San Francisco, CA 94133
415-981-8988
Monday-Sunday 11 AM-10 PM
Pre-Ordered Nine Course Meal For Eight: $200 after tax and tip (no drinks)

This Beast Easily Feeds 4

Sicilian Style Burratina di Margherita

Calzone With Meatballs And Garlic

Calzone With Meatballs And Garlic

New Jersey Tomato Pie

Margherita

Just a quick growl as I took the family to Tony’s in North Beach last night and found it to be just as good as my first two visits. This time, we tried the Calzone with Meatballs, Garlic, Mozzarella and Ricotta and we all loved it. The meatballs, which I raved about as a starter in my original review, work really well in the perfectly baked, golden crust. The only bummer was that the marinara sauce, served on the side for dipping, was cold. I’d rather that it was warm. Also new for us was the Sicilian Style Burratina di Margherita square pizza. It takes about fifteen minutes longer than the other pies because of its sheer massiveness. Soft and focaccia-like except for a perfectly crisped bottom, the Sicilian crust reconfirmed for me that the pizza bakers at Tony’s really “respect the craft.” It even says so on their t-shirts. I would’ve liked a tad more sauce on the Sicilian as I love Tony’s sauce. We ate the Sicilian leftovers cold for lunch today and it was perfect leftover pizza. And I wasn’t even hungover. Next time, I would get the Sicilian with some toppings as it has the heft to hold up some serious sausage, pepperoni or whatever your greasy deliciousness of choice is. However, my favorite continues to be the New Jersey Tomato Pie, just as good as my first go-around in March. I’m already plotting my next visit to sample more of Tony’s pizza.

Tony’s Pizza Napoletana
1570 Stockton St. (corner of Union)
San Francisco, CA 94133
415-835-9888
Website
Wednesday-Sunday: Noon-11:00 PM
No reservations
The Original Tomato Pie $15
Margherita Pie $18
Sicilian Style Burratina di Margherita $29
Baked Manhattan Calzone $12

My Scripture

Can a man have a love affair with a corner store? Yes. My first visit to Roxie’s was in 1986 as a junior in high school. I didn’t just instantly fall in love with the sandwiches, I also instantly fell in love with the place. I absorbed the constant chatter from the guys behind the counter and learned about the real world from observing the cops, construction workers, local crazies, college students and other characters who frequented Roxie’s. It was as much a class to me as was Mr. Simon’s Math or Mr. Weiss’ Computer Architecture. Only a two-minute drive, it was far enough from school to feel like we were leaving campus yet close enough that we could go for lunch or during a fifty minute “dead period”. During my senior year, I often visited Roxie’s twice each day, once in the morning to have a donut and and get the AM chatter from the counter guys who all called me “Shorty”, and again with my friends for lunch, which we ate in my beloved 1979 maroon, diesel Cadillac Seville or outside on the sidewalk. It was like our secret clubhouse. My penchant for food challenges ramped up at Roxie’s where I regularly ate an entire Hostess Snowball in one bite. Though grades weren’t my highest priority, I was hellbent on eating every item on Roxie’s menu by the time I graduated. While I came close, I consider it to be my biggest failure in life that I didn’t finish.

12/31/1999: Shorty, The Roxie Kid And Our Heroes At The Last Lunch Of The Century

Visits home from college weren’t complete without a visit to see the guys at Roxie’s and feast on a Roxie’s Special. “Hey, Shorty’s back in town!” they would yell out. Yes, a corner store on the city’s outskirts was the only place where I was known, but my ego skyrocketed when the Roxie’s guys remembered me. Still does. When I took Mrs. Stomach to Roxie’s for the first time, roughly four months after we started dating, I was worried about what she would think of my paradise. She loved it. However, more prominent on my mind was what would the Roxie’s guys think of Mrs. Stomach? If they disapproved, I’d have a dilemma on my hands. From behind the counter, one of the guys yelled “Hey look! Shorty’s got a new girlfriend! Hey, Shorty’s girlfriend, do you like pastrami? Here’s a taste!” Luckily, Mrs. Stomach charmed them and they all approved. I could safely proceed with the relationship. My last lunch of the 20th century was a no brainer. Roxie’s.

The Roxie's Special

Ok, ok..what about the food you ask? The Roxie’s Special is my favorite sandwich in San Francisco and it’s what I order most of the time . Ham, mortadella, salami, your choice of cheese (I recommend that you let them decide), and the usual sandwich fixings make up the inside of this beast. Ask for your order warmed up and you’ll be rewarded with a truly oven-baked, meltingly good lunch that will make you ask “Why can’t all corner store sandwiches taste like this?” No Quizno’s crap here.  While Roxie’s has a great bread selection, I go Dutch Crunch every time. This roll is crunchy like a cracker on the outside but soft like a Philadelphia pretzel on the inside and makes for the perfect casing. Finally, the ingredient that puts the Roxie’s Special over the top is marinated artichoke hearts. They add just the right amount of zip and the texture against the meat, cheese and bread works magically. While the high school Urban Stomach could easily polish a Supreme sized sandwich, nowadays I go for the Junior which is still a pretty hefty lunch. Note that Roxie’s has maybe the largest drink selection of any corner store in the city. You’ll need a few minutes to pick one which is a good thing as sandwiches, because they’re made with love, can take a while during peak hours. At lunchtime, you’ll be in and out in roughly 15-20 minutes.

The Unparalleled Dutch Crunch Roll

I have to give two big shout-outs as I conclude my love letter. First is to Duncan Mitchell. Though Duncan went to a different high school, he’s the one who told my friends about Roxie’s and thus is the reason that I started going. To this day, Duncan, now a New Yorker, is one of my favorite eating partners but I still have issues with the fact that he likes the Spanish roll as much, if not more than, the Dutch Crunch. Lunacy. My second shout-out goes to Justin Grover, a.k.a. “The Roxie Kid”. Justin was there for my very first sandwich at Roxie’s and we’ve been well over 100 times since. He’s a Tuna Special guy and I respect that. Now a father of two little stomachs, I get a little teary eyed when the Roxie’s guys scream “Hey, Shorty’s here with his daughters. Those are two beautiful girls. Shorty’s all grown up now!” It’s my own circle of life come to fruition.

The Stomachs At Our Favorite Picnic Spot

Roxie Food Center
1901 San Jose Ave.
San Francisco, CA 94112
Monday-Saturday: 6:30 AM-9:00 PM
Sunday: 7:00 AM-8:00 PM
Junior Roxie’s Special $5.99

A 23 year old Stomach (on the right) at Charlie Vergo's Rendezvous in Memphis

My friend loved Rendezvous BBQ so much, he never ate meat again

Last night, I licked my television. Why you ask? I was watching Tony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and he was doing a food porn piece on barbecue. A beautifully crusted, slow-smoked brisket was shown being carved, juices dripping with each cut. I wanted to hop on a plane and fly to this barbecue pit, in New York of all places, and dive naked into an orgy of smoked meats. Mmmmmmm! Ooooooh!

I love barbecue. Barbecue makes me emotional. Barbecue makes me lick televisions. We don’t have much barbecue around these parts. The best barbecue that I ever ate, in 1994 at The Rendezvous in Memphis, brought me to to a food orgasm that I wasn’t sure I could ever achieve, and have rarely achieved since. Don’t even mention “dry rubbed ribs” to me or my knees will go weak and my eyes will roll back. The worst barbecue that I ever ate, in 1980 at The Great American Beef Rib Company in L.A., was an insult to the genre. Dry, tasteless ribs made even a ten year-old Urban Stomach angry. It’s been thirty plus years since that debacle and I’m still pissed.

A pile of meat: The 3 Meat Combo of Ribs, Chicken and Pulled Pork

Housed in an orange train car in Pacifica, Gorilla Barbeque is serving my favorite barbecue in the Bay Area. If you’re a first timer, I suggest that you bring a friend, your family, or both and order a 3 Meat Combo. On a recent sunny Sunday afternoon, the Stomachs started with a pile of pulled pork, chicken and pork ribs (beef ribs are nothing but pretenders). The ribs are large, meaty, and have a great bark on them. I’m not sure what’s so satisfying about eating big hunks of meat off of a bone but if I could eat pasta off of a bone, I would. The chicken is nice and juicy and the skin gets a little crispy but not burnt. I found myself using my index finger to scrape bits of skin off of the bottom of the styrofoam container. When I’m eating barbecue, I’m not a sauce guy. I’m a firm believer that the meat should be able to stand up flavor- wise on its own. However, I was happy to drench my pulled pork, a little blander than the other meats, with Gorilla’s vinegary sauce that provides a nice kick of spice about three seconds after every bite.

Beef Brisket and Mac & Cheese at Gorilla Barbeque

What you see above is a kid’s portion of brisket. My kids couldn’t finish it between the two of them! Gorilla’s brisket is dry-rubbed and then spends fifteen hours in the smoker, resulting in smoky, tender slices of pure joy. I was picking this stuff up with my hands, dangling it in my mouth, and taking bite after pleasurable bite. Of all of the Gorilla meats that I’ve tried, the brisket tastes the most of smoke which is a big plus in my book. You can see the red smoke rings around the edges of the meat. The macaroni & cheese is one of the cheesiest versions I’ve ever encountered as Gorilla uses four kinds of cheese and then bakes the noodles under a crust of ground cheddar goldfish crackers. Let me repeat, they put cheddar goldfish crackers in a grinder and then use the finely ground bits to bake a crust on top of the macaroni and cheese. Who thinks of this stuff? Brilliant. And very, very rich. Cole slaw is on the traditional side with plenty of mayonaise to cool down the smoke from the meats and the heat from the sauce.

Smoked Brisket Cheesesteak deserves its own visit

I can’t conclude without mention of Gorilla’s cheesesteak. It’s completely untraditional both as barbecue and as a cheesesteak but it completely works. They combine a hefty portion of chopped smoked beef brisket with white american cheese, onions and peppers and sandwich it in a well griddled soft roll. I’m generally not one for food trickery but this sandwich is worth the drive to Pacifica alone. I’d suggest eating it on a separate visit as it’s a little much when combined with all of the other smoked meats and the mac & cheese. Well, maybe a lot much.

This was my fifth visit to Gorilla over the past year or so and I’m really impressed with their consistency. On weekends, there’s almost always a line but it moves fairly well. You should know that Gorilla is take-out only and they don’t take phone orders. There are a few picnic tables up on a small hill and you’ll want to dress warmly if you plan to use them. It’s Pacifica. However, cold weather aside, Gorilla Barbeque is a godsend for Bay Area barbecue lovers like me.

Gorilla Barbeque
2145 Coast Highway
Pacifica, CA 94044
650-359-RIBS (7427)
www.gorillabbq.com
Wednesday-Monday: Noon-8PM (if visiting after 5PM, call to see what they have left)
3 Meat Combo with choice of 2 sides, cornbread and beans and rice:$19.50
Kid’s Combo with choice of 1 side and cornbread: $6.25
Philly Cheesesteak Combo with choice of 1 side: $8.25